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I no longer hope for recovery. I cannot help but feel the end is close. Yet somehow, today that seems more a blessed relief than tragic end. My only wish is that I come to my end with grace.Father assured me that I would be laid beside Clarissa. He also assured me that, even though Jonathan was not technically a member of the family, they consider him as a son already, and that, should he choose, he could be laid beside me, in God's own time.October 2I had the most wondrous dream last night. I was walking in the cemetery, near the family vault, and there I met my dear sister Clarissa. She was standing by the path, dressed in the beautiful dress in which she was laid to rest. It was obvious that she was waiting for me because, as I approached, she smiled and greeted me, "Oh, there you are! Come, I have something to show you" She lead me to the vault and the heavy iron door simply dissolved before us. I followed her in to where three low stone tables stood. The first held a closed. (I also have a Maxwell uniform and chastity for specialoccasions, from that side of the family). The chastity is always in aplace of honor, in a glass case on the mantel, next to numerous otherfamily heirlooms, some hundreds of years old, including a bullwhip,various restraints, several wicked looking castrators, and a brandingiron. Mother orders me to retrieve the special chastity. I am unlocked,and my sissy clitty is freed from its 'everyday' chastity. I kiss theMcCarthur chastity, before I slide it on and mother, using a very oldfashion key, locks it, with a resounding click. A special 'fairy bell' isattached just for the occasion, to the front of the chastity. Mother andI are very excited, Syntyche (and Tabitha) are attending the chastisingceremony and by some carefully planned bribery, mother thinks we canfinally dress Syntyche in her McCarthur uniform (well my old one, thewhole point of the uniform is for hand me downs), without Tabby having ameltdown, that she can't wear.
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